Do you feel safer, Milwaukee? Are you resting easier?

Well, you should be, if only because my neighbor/BFF is on some kind of crimefighting spree, having remanded at least FOUR miscreants and evildoers to the hands of the proper authorities.

It all began a while back, when she was on the bus and some sort of ne’er-do-well began focusing his unwanted and unpleasant attentions on her. She leapt into action and quickly dialed the local constabulary on her mobile phone. A few stops of the bus later, the police boarded the bus and trundled said individual to the pokey, where it was discovered that he had recently left his institution against physician’s advice and was now simply riding the busses, terminus to terminus. Presumably, he was returned to his medical caretakers.

Then, at great personal risk, my neighbor undertook a solo undercover sting operation, enticing a local gang of brutes to rob her at knifepoint. After reluctantly surrendering her purse to the thieves, she called in backup in the persons of our brave city police force, and they quickly apprehended two of the dastardly trio. The glorious machine of our democratic justice system soon made certain that they would be given ample time to reconsider their sorry and doomed criminal paths.

Finally, while at work last Sunday, she noticed a shifty gentleman who was inappropriately dressed in a bulky overcoat for the recent warm weather. After some careful observation, she concluded that police backup was again called for and surreptitiously contacted the fearless men in blue who immediately swarmed to her place of employ and detained the man for further questioning. It was quickly established that he was under a current arrest warrant for a charge of armed robbery and that he was, indeed, armed with a fearsome looking black handgun at this time!

So rest easy, Milwaukee, the streets are safer today then they were yesterday, and they’ll be yet again safer tomorrow.

My glorious and tirelessly brave neighbor is on the job!