I got 5 of 5 in the first round, then only 1 of 5 in the second round. But I aced the Carrot test!
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Here is my proposal. We, the public, should be allowed to spy on you, and all those you come in contact with, with similar promisees of amnesty.]]>
For each member of Congress, I propose we set up a collective internet site. This site will allow interested members of the public to, in realtime, monitor your every activity to assure ourselves that none of you are committing illegal or terrorist-enabling acts at any given moment of the day.
Me and my brother were talking to each other
'Bout what makes a man a man
Was it brain or brawn, or the month you were born
We just couldn't understand
"Tattoo", © Pete Townshend - The Who
Does drinking coffee make you a grown up?
If that's true, I realized this morning, I'm wizened well beyond my calendar-years. I remember filling an old tin-lunchbox thermos with a coffee-milk-sugar mixture (hey, give me a break - I was still a youngster!) and stowing it in my locker and gulping from it at class breaks. This served the dual purpose of giving me a necessary pickup during the stultifying hours of education-by-rote and pissing off the teachers serving as hall monitors who would see me tipping the thermos up and immediately home in on me, exulting that they had caught this nerdish trouble maker sneaking quick nips of hooch on school grounds.
When I arrived at college, I arrived with a small coffee pot and a bean grinder (gifts) which I put immediately to a herculean production output. Since then, almost every place I've ever lived in has had a well-used coffee-maker (the exceptions were the two summers I lived in cheap boarding houses - there may have been shared coffee-makers in the kitchen, but I was loathe to interact in any way with my housemates - I instead relied on the office coffee-makers of countless temporary jobs).
I must say, for my years of caffeine addiction, I think I've suffered few or no health problems as a result, though there was a spell when I was drinking three or four 20 ounce trucker's mugs a day thatI noticed odd, sporadic flutters in my chest. On doctor's advice I cut back a little. If anything, I maintain that my coffee habit ironically kept me from smoking because I never felt competent enough to maintain three vices simultaneously (beer being the other).
So here's to you, coffee - I'm a man now, thanks to you!
Welcome to my life, tattoo
I'm a man now, thanks to you
I expect I'll regret you
But the skin graft man won't get you
You'l be there when I die
Tattoo"Tattoo", © Pete Townshend - The Who
Said to an angry neighbor who, upset that my sister-in-law's dog had run on his lawn, threatened 'Keep your goddamned dog off my lawn, or I'll shoot him twice!'"Don't worry, you can always get it right the next time she gets married."
Said to the mother of one of my closest friends as she was fretting about her daughter's - my friend's sister - wedding."Sure! Great band! 'Run Through The Jungle' is one of my favorite songs!"
Said to my oldest and dearest friend after he had just been stung by a particularly venomous jellyfish and we were sitting on the deserted (it was about 3am and we had been night snorkeling) beach pondering our next move. He said he was starting to see mist coming up from the ground and wasn't feeling so good. 'Do you know CPR?' he asked me."It's alright! You're going to be okay....Um, well, maybe not."
To that same friend as we were in the back of a van crammed with loose tools and auto parts driven by the friendly strangers who were taking us to the medical clinic in the Mexican town where were staying. I was holding his hand and comforting him when he suddenly geysered vomit onto his own chest."OK. Hey, avoid the undercooked meats and the fried foods. That stuff will kill you!"
To the same friend again, a couple of nights ago as he closed our phone conversation, in which he told me that the doctors has found a spot on his lung that day, by saying he was going to get a bite of dinner.That friend, the first two times, credits me for helping save his life by taking some of the fear off of him.
Can you think of something else like that? I'm not challenging you, trying to declare that there's nothing else that is universal like talking about the weather - just wondering if anyone can think of a similar subject.
However, like seemingly every other glorious advent of spring I've enjoyed, I'm fighting off the final feeble clutches of winter - this time a stupid sinus thing that's been giving me fatigue and headaches for the last month or so. Every time I try to enjoy outside temperatures that don't immediately freeze the snot in my nose, I realize too late that it's not really that warm yet and I've given myself the sniffles yet again.
Nothing sucks quite so much as seeing the sunshine of a beautiful day (and being on a vacation day, to boot!) and not wanting to leave the couch.
This episode of Too Much Information has been brought to you by your favorite confessionalist poet.
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I Have Started to Say
I have started to say
"A quarter of a century"
Or "thirty years back"
About my own life.
It makes me breathless
It's like falling and recovering
In huge gesturing loops
Through an empty sky.All that's left to happen
Is some deaths (my own included).
Their order, and their manner,
Remain to be learnt.
It's been a month and no signs of - if you'll pardon the expression - life at the house.
My living neighbor received his mail by mistake: some utility bills and a letter from the Milwaukee PD which I assume was a copy of the police report of their removal of his body. A basement storm window was removed and left in my yard. The car I think was his seems to have been removed (legitimately, I hope).
I am left to ponder (which I would anyway, to be sure).
As mentioned in this space before, I have a lot of crap stored in my basement - the detritus of four decades on this planet. Most, if not all, of it means something only to me, and even then not much. Most of those boxes haven't been opened in years.
I've been peripatetically trying to weed through those boxes, spurred in part by familial sense of impending mortality, in part by spousal disapproval. I don't want to make my kids go through this crap after I leave this lonely granite planet.
Which is maybe why I feel such concern for my deceased neighbor's own crap. Even if it was simple laziness that led him to leave his Christmas tree up in his living room window for the entire time I've lived here, even if it was some sort of minor personality disorder that led him to collect discarded junk from the alleys around the city, it was still his stuff, hoarded and saved for some purpose known to him.
To that end, it seems to me as if his life's imprint here is about to disappear forever, to nobody's particular remorse.
And that makes me sad.
As a lay-Buddhist, I am striving to recognize and live the idea that, to quote Elvis Costello, we're only here in this instant. But it still makes me sad.
I didn't mean that post to be some kind of plaintive cry for attention (although, on rereading, it does kinda sound that way - sorry).
I think it's the weather that's crushing my spirit more than anything. In some misguided spirit of optimism and hope. the bedroom windows are open (with the storms still closed - we're not dumb or anything) so with the nighttime temps hovering around the freezing mark, it got damned cold in the middle of the night.
Another futile attempt to shake the wintry blues (from an email to some pals):
So I bit the bullet and bought a new car stereo yesterday.But it's nothing I can put my stubby frozen finger on, whatever's bugging me. Would it help me if I could?
You guys may recall that I don't very much enjoy investing lots of
scratch into my car stereo - remember the tape deck in the old Escort
that I needed to insert the earpiece from a broken pair of sunglasses to
make the tape sound marginally okay? - so I was pretty amazed that I
laid about $200 for this new one. I am primarily buying it so I have a
good input mode for my iPod.
As I pulled out of the Best Buy, the buyers' remorse set in. Why am I
getting rid of my perfectly CD deck when I'm probably not going to be
able to afford to be in a moving car for any length of time (and really
can't take off on long drives what with my family and all)?
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Hey ain't it strange how some things never change
Ain't it strange how nothing stays the same?
You were thinkin' I was distressed about some universe oppressed
But I was just depressed about my last pinball game
(© Soul Asylum, "Never Really Been")
listlessness, tedium, lassitude, languor]]>
Cursing, I climbed out of the air-conditioned cab of my tractor, spilling the dregs of my coffee on my coveralls and the seat as I did and hopped down to find the culprit.
I looked in the blades of the thresher and there it was: a goddamned corn seed sign had blown over the county highway from someone else's field - probably the good-for-nothing Jokinens - and landed in my wheat, waiting to gum up my thresher.
Cursing some more, I grabbed it with both hands and tugged it free.
At just that moment, I remembered that I had left the tractor running. I was sure I had taken it out of gear, though.
Later, after I woke up in the hospital and saw the clean, white bandages covering the stumps at the end of my arms where my hands used to be, I realized I hadn't.
-----
Yeah, you're right. That didn't really happen. For some reason, though, that was always my first worry when a correspondence (this is back in the old days, kids, before the magic of email) ebbed silent.
Don't worry, that hasn't happened to me. I still have all of my limbs and I've not been dragged away from my computer to struggle vainly to keep my family safe and fed (no more than usual, anyway).
I've just been grappling with the same sort of ennui that my close personal friend SP seems to have as well.
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the spring we've longed for is taking its sweet fucking time getting here - lows are projected to be near freezing tonight, with a chance of the S-word - or maybe its the fact that things in the outside world are seeming to be turning to shit even faster right now.
I dunno, but I've been bitching to myself that all of my pals seem to be observing radio silence right now, when I feel like I need them most.
Then I realized, as my old friend Rodney taught me (among innumerable other nuggets of pearly wisdom), 'Telephone works two ways, man'.
Can you all try?
Thanks
]]>I have been closely following the campaigns of both Senator Obama and Hillary Clinton, and quite frankly, if anyone is exhibiting arrogance and a sense of entitlement, it has been Senator Clinton, along with her husband, whom I used to be an avid supporter and defender. Through Rovian tactics, right out of the play book of the Republicans, she and her campaign have engaged in a divisive, negative, destructive campaign, often siding and praising Senator McCain to tear down her Democratic opponent. The fact that Senator Obama hasn't lowered himself to her level tells me a lot more about a person's character than some right wing gossip or out of context media spin.]]>Senator Clinton and Bill Clinton assumed that Hillary would be the nominee, and subsequently have executed a disorganized, unprepared and incompetent campaign, blaming everything from the caucuses to youthful exuberance and enthusiasm. They have made excuse after excuse for why Obama is winning, never accepting responsibility for their own failings. In my judgment, this is a perfect example of hubris.
I am voting for the person, not the sex, nor the race of a candidate. I am supporting a man who happens to be of mixed race who has lived in different countries, who has experienced different cultures. His impoverished childhood gives him a fundamental understanding and empathy for the less fortunate. He has shown in his life that he is a champion for the poor. After paying for his own education through student loans and scholarships, he chose to work as a community organizer instead of a private law firm where he could have made a lot more money. Senator Obama sponsored and worked for legislation in Illinois that addressed the needs of poor and middle class working Americans, and has continued that legacy in the United States Senate. I believe a person's actual history tells you more about their character than rhetoric.
Your belief that we Obama supporters are somehow mesmerized like some kind of naive sheep, basing our endorsement for the man on irrational emotions is preposterous. Certainly we hold no delusions that Senator Obama is perfect or a savior of mankind. But heck yes, we're enthusiastic. For the first time in a long time we are excited about someone who exhibits intelligence, wisdom, and yes, hope.
I would like to know how you came to the conclusion that Senator Obama's "ascendancy is more symbolic than substantive." Senator Obama may not be as old as Senator Clinton, but he has had a lifetime of experience deeply involved in public policy and community activism. Senator Clinton's experiences as First Lady were admirable, but certainly should not be equated with involvement in policy making decisions.
Senator Clinton has lied about NAFTA saying she was against it, yet video clips show that she supported it during the Clinton administration. She joined in the Reverend Wright attacks yet she and Bill invited Reverend Wright into their home during the Lewinsky affair for marital guidance. Senator Clinton stated that she was against the war in Iraq--even before Senator Obama's public denouncement, yet she voted for it and video clips prove this is too a lie. She ridiculed Senator Obama as being an elitist when she and Bill are worth millions and have occupied mansions for most of their lives including the governor's mansion in Arkansas and the White House. I could cite many more examples, but I think you get the picture.
In your letter you said: Republicans are salivating at the chance to run against him. (Obama) Yet, right wing extremists like Rush Limbaugh are engaging in campaigns to get Republicans to vote for Hillary because they know McCain has a better chance to beat her than Obama. In Denton County alone there was a 4% crossover from Republican to Democrat, many Republicans following Rush's "Operation Chaos" to help Hillary win Texas. It is obvious the Republicans are salivating to run against Senator Clinton due to a deep seated and historical hatred toward the Clintons.
I for one am tired of hypocrisy and lies. I am fed up with Rovian style tactics. It is truly a shame that Senator Clinton along with Bill, have chosen this road, because not only has it ruined the legacy of President Clinton, it has divided the Democratic party. She could have made her case for why she would be the better candidate with grace and distinction. Instead, the Clintons have chosen to exhibit arrogance and dishonesty.
The whole shebang was rather unique and I've finally posted the video for your perusal:
]]>So I feel the need to break that sacred trust of correspondence and make them into open letters (or my side, anyway).
And here I go:
Me? Two kids takes up an amazing amount of time. I think I've pretty much]]>
resigned myself to the fact that I won't get to do anything solitary and
fun for the next decade-and-a-half or so, and I think I'm starting to
understand the philosophy of the long-term resident of federal penal
housing. After the first few months/years, the newness wears off and you
start accepting the fact that it's gonna take a lot LESS to excite you on
any given day.
Not that it's that full of dolor. Like most parents, I take great joy in
my urchins (for one reason because the boy developed a huge fondness for
the Ramones and Sleater-Kinney before "Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts" took over
as the apple of his ear) and their antics - when they're not spurring the
wife and I into ugly acts of infanticide (they seem to amazingly be able
to walk that tightrope very well - being incredibly cute and lovable just
enough to allow them to skate through their next hair-pulling and
ulcer-inducing acts of mischief). Having been on the receiving end of
endless 'cute' stories about other people's kids back when I was a DINK, I
try to avoid inflicting the same on others.
Musically, I've been falling into this weird American music thing
(sometimes called 'freak folk'). It appeals to my sense of the avant-garde
and experimental enough to keep me interested in this dreary time of emo
and mindlessly robotic pop music. I've also been reinforcing my belief
that Sun Ra was a freakin' genius.
Again, how 'bout you (as my close personal friend Ronnie van Zant used to
sing)?
Spiritually/intellectually, I've been reading more and more Buddhist stuff
(especially, recently, a book called "Hardcore Zen" by an ex-punk rock
bassist become Zen master and monster movie player in Japan no less). I
get a lot of political books from my neighbor the bookseller, but I
realized this morning that the point out the obvious truths to me so much
(we're going to hell in a handbasket) that they just depress me. I
recently bought a cheap 50-pack of bad/classic Hong Kong chopsocky and
find myself turning more and more to it (as I once did M*A*S*H* reruns)
for easily digestible and simple morality tales where evil is always
vanquished and good always triumphs.