Fah & Fooey!

(I saw it at First Draft, though I bet it's all over the freakin' web at this point...)

Seven Things To Do Before I Die

1. See the kids through college.


2. Get a job where I'm paid for writing stuff.


3. Finish cleaning.


4. Visit more of the states in the union (I've been to about half now).


5. Try real absinthe (yes, I've heard it's awful - I just wanna know more for myself).


6. Finish grad school successfully.


7. Start some sort of business.

1. Sing (though this didn't really hurt my career in music - just the people who were unfortunate enough to be in the audience).


2. Walk briskly.


3. Teleport or become invisible.


4. Not automatically copy-edit and/or proofread when I see the printed word.


5. Remember to forget.


6. Not randomly utter nonsensical words or phrases when I feel the silence closing in or am trying to knock myself out a negative thought spiral(see "Things I Say Most Often" below).


7. Suffer fools gladly.

1. me me me me me!


2. Meeting new friends and rediscovering the old ones.


3. I get to rant to a (sort of) captive audience.


4. It encourages me to write - and think - more.


5. I'm a geek - what else can I say?


6. Sharing doesn't ALWAYS mean "Gimme!"


7. Makes people - and the government - notice me.

1. "Crapdiddley" and "Gruffdiddley" and "Diddleybop"


2. "Fuckity fuck!" and "Crappity crap!"


3. "Bastards!"


4. "Shoot me now, Ed."


5. "More koolaid, Reverend Jim!"


6. "I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords."


7. "D'oh!"

1. Hunter S. Thompson, works


2. David James Duncan, The River Why? and The Brothers K


3. Lester Bangs, Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung


4. Greil Marcus, Mystery Train and Lipstick Traces


5. Jack Kerouac, The Dharma Bums


6. Charles Bukowski, Womenand collected letters


7. Russell Banks, Rule Of The Bone

1. Apocalypse Now!


2. Stranger Than Paradise/Down By Law


3. Candy Mountain


4. Simple Men


5. The Good, The Bad & The Ugly


6. Yojimbo


7. (right now)Kung Fu Hustle

• You, if you're reading this!