A press release from PRKA
Manifesto – A press release from PRKA. By George Saunders
Manifesto
A press release from PRKA.
By George Saunders
Posted Thursday, Aug. 26, 2004, at 12:59 PM PT
Last Thursday, my organization, People Reluctant To Kill for an Abstraction, orchestrated an overwhelming show of force around the globe.
At precisely 9 in the morning, working with focus and stealth, our entire membership succeeded in simultaneously beheading no one. At 10, Phase II began, during which our entire membership did not force a single man to suck another man’s penis. Also, none of us blew himself/herself up in a crowded public place. No civilians were literally turned inside out via our powerful explosives. In addition, at 11, in Phase III, zero (0) planes were flown into buildings.
During Phase IV, just after lunch, we were able to avoid bulldozing a single home. Furthermore, we set, on roads in every city, in every nation in the world, a total of zero (0) roadside bombs which, not being there, did not subsequently explode, killing/maiming a total of nobody. No bombs were dropped, during the lazy afternoon hours, on crowded civilian neighborhoods, from which, it was observed, no post-bomb momentary silences were then heard. These silences were, in all cases, followed by no unimaginable, grief-stricken bellows of rage, and/or frantic imprecations to a deity. No sleeping baby was awakened from an afternoon nap by the sudden collapse and/or bursting into flame of his/her domicile during Phase IV.
In the late afternoon (Phase V), our membership focused on using zero (0) trained dogs to bite/terrorize naked prisoners. In addition, no stun guns, rubber batons, rubber bullets, tear gas, or bullets were used, by our membership, on any individual, anywhere in the world. No one was forced to don a hood. No teeth were pulled in darkened rooms. No drills were used on human flesh, nor were whips or flames. No one was reduced to hysterical tears via a series of blows to the head or body, by us. Our membership, while casting no racial or ethnic aspersions, skillfully continued not to rape, gang-rape, or sexually assault a single person. On the contrary, during this late-afternoon phase, many of our membership flirted happily and even consoled, in a nonsexual way, individuals to whom they were attracted, putting aside their sexual feelings out of a sudden welling of empathy.
As night fell, our membership harbored no secret feelings of rage or, if they did, meditated, or discussed these feelings with a friend until such time as the feelings abated, or were understood to be symptomatic of some deeper sadness.
It should be noted that, in addition to the above-listed and planned activities completed by our members, a number of unplanned activities were completed by part-time members, or even nonmembers.
In London, a bitter homophobic grandfather whose grocery bag broke open gave a loaf of very nice bread to a balding gay man who stopped to help him. A stooped toothless woman in Tokyo pounded her head with her hands, tired beyond belief of her lifelong feelings of anger and negativity, and silently prayed that her heart would somehow be opened before it was too late. In Syracuse, New York, holding the broken body of his kitten, a man felt a sudden kinship for all small things.
Even declared nonmembers, it would appear, responded to our efforts. In Chitral, Pakistan, for example, a recent al-Qaida recruit remembered the way an elderly American tourist once made an encouraging remark about his English, and how, as she made the remark, she touched his arm, like a mother. In Gaza, an Israeli soldier and a young Palestinian, just before averting their eyes and muttering insults in their respective languages, exchanged a brief look of mutual shame.
Who are we? A word about our membership.
Since the world began, we have gone about our work quietly, resisting the urge to generalize, valuing the individual over the group, the actual over the conceptual, the inherent sweetness of the present moment over the theoretically peaceful future to be obtained via murder. Many of us have trouble sleeping and lie awake at night, worrying about something catastrophic befalling someone we love. We rise in the morning with no plans to convert anyone via beating, humiliation, or invasion. To tell the truth, we are tired. We work. We would just like some peace and quiet. When wrong, we think about it awhile, then apologize. We stand under awnings during urban thunderstorms, moved to thoughtfulness by the troubled, umbrella-tinged faces rushing by. In moments of crisis, we pat one another awkwardly on the back, mumbling shy truisms. Rushing to an appointment, remembering a friend who has passed away, our eyes well with tears and we think: Well, my God, he could be a pain, but still I’m lucky to have known him.
This is PRKA. To those who would oppose us, I would simply say: We are many. We are worldwide. We, in fact, outnumber you. Though you are louder, though you create a momentary ripple on the water of life, we will endure, and prevail.
Join us.
Resistance is futile.
(Apologies to Slate and Mr. Saunders for quoting the piece in it’s entirety – I thought it too funny and too important to excerpt.)
A lot about me, explained.
Eyewitness recall accuracy affected by mood – UNSW research
People in a negative mood provide more accurate eyewitness accounts than people in a positive mood state, according to new research.
The surprise finding, which is to be published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, is the first to assess the effect of mood on memory and human thinking.
People in a positive mood such as happiness were shown under experimental conditions to have relatively unreliable memories, and show poorer judgement and critical thinking skills.
I think most people who know me agree that I (A) have a bizarrely good memory and (B) am grumpy most of the time.
(via BoingBoing)
Two Myths, exploded
MSNBC – Test Pattern: Kerry too serious on “Daily”
One: The media has a liberal bias.
Two: MSNBC is beginning to sidle that way.
I Simply MUST see this.
“End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones”
The subhed reads: “A heartfelt look at the four misfits from Queens who saved post-’60s American culture.”
The Ramones weren’t just part of the mid-1970s New York punk scene; in their sneakers, leather jackets and limp, stripy T-shirts, with an exuberantly messy guitar sound cobbled together from oddly shaped driftwoody bits of ’60s surf pop, they essentially carved it out.
Reading this, it struck me again – nearly all of the bands I love are like dysfunctional families, full of love and hate for each other (or like gangs, as Marcus Gray puts it)
“Why do you think we will win?”
Andrew Tobias – Money and Other Subjects
Kathryn Lance: “You say, It’s going to work out. We’re going to win. Really? Do you truly think so? I’m so depressed at all the negativity and lies about Kerry, and all the scary stuff about untraceable ballots, that I feel sure that they will steal the election again. And if they do, I truly wonder if this country, or indeed the world, will survive another four years. Why do you think we will win?”
F Because of turnout.
In October of 2000, voters were asked whether they were ‘unusually excited’� about the upcoming election. And now, in 2004, they’ve been asked again: Are they unusually excited about THIS upcoming election?
Among Republicans, the number is up – 51% are ‘unusually excited’� versus 48% last time.
Among Democrats, the number is up from 36% to 68%.
That is not a typo.
When we were complacent and unexcited last time, we won by 537,000 votes. Now we are wide awake, fighting mad, and determined to win.
You can see the energy in the massive primary turnout this past winter. You can see it in the huge crowds Kerry and Edwards attract. You can see it in the jaw-dropping response to our tens of millions of pieces of direct mail – like nothing direct mail marketers have ever seen before. People recognize this is not business as usual.
But if the rank and file on the other side is only marginally more energized than before, up from 48% to 51% (could some of them, in their heart of hearts, be disappointed that we’ve turned massive surpluses into massive deficits? had a net job loss for the first time since Herbert Hoover? advantaged the rich at the expense of everyone else? turned much of the world, which was so ready to be with us after September 11, against us?) . . . the leadership of their party – the guys orchestrating the campaign – are hugely motivated to keep, indeed to extend, their control over all three branches of government (and, increasingly, the press).
So we’re going to win, but it’s going to be a very, very tough fight. And speaking to those of you who want to see it happen (and I know not all of you do, and am particularly grateful and impressed that you come to listen anyway) – please spend the next 76 days making sure that it does. Visit JohnKerry.com for ways to help.
Why are going to win? Here’s the blah-blah-blah answer – and I completely believe it:
We’re going to win because John Kerry’s domestic policies favor the vast majority of voters, who are not rich and powerful. And because people sense we need to rejoin the world if we are to succeed in our war on terror, as we unquestionably must.
Help is on the way.
(I found the link at Kevin Drum’s.)
Insert Political Commentary At Will
Yahoo! News – Bear Drinks 36 Beers and Passes Out
Fish and Wildlife enforcement Sgt. Bill Heinck said the bear did try one can of Busch, but ignored the rest.
(Thanks, Dan!)
Girlie Man
Or to borrow a turn of phrase from Ahnuld, George W. Bush is a girlie man.
The president’s loose grip
Bush seemed to write off his isolation as an inevitable part of the presidency. It is, and it isn’t. Presidents don’t do their own grocery shopping, and they don’t chew the fat down at the corner barber shop. But there’s nothing in the Constitution that requires presidents to appear before invitation-only crowds, nothing that requires that “Ask the President” events feature only questions designed to highlight the White House talking points of the day. There’s nothing that prohibits the president from reading newspapers.
Bush has chosen to isolate himself from the electorate, and he doesn’t seem to recognize the effect of his decision. When King asked about anger in America Thursday night, Bush said: “I think there may be handfuls of people that are very emotional.” Bush seemed to confuse his stage-managed events with real life, forgetting — or choosing to ignore the fact — that the people at campaign events are invited guests of the Republican Party, that the Secret Service keeps protestors out of the president’s sight.
(it’s at Salon, so you’ll need to be a subscriber, or watch an ad)
It’s Just Crazy Enough To Work…
The Onion | Kerry Unveils One-Point Plan For Better America
The story is free…for now.
WICHITA, KS?Delivering the central speech of his 10-day “Solution For America” bus campaign tour Monday, Democratic presidential nominee Sen. John Kerry outlined his one-point plan for a better America: the removal of George W. Bush from the White House.
“If I am elected in November, no inner-city child will have to live in an America where George Bush is president,” Kerry said, addressing a packed Maize High School auditorium. “No senior citizen will lie awake at night, worrying about whether George Bush is still the chief executive of this country. And no American?regardless of gender, regardless of class, regardless of race?will be represented by George Bush in the world community.”